The Exalted Kender Cleric
Yup. I’m that guy. The D&D group needed someone who could do full-time healing. I happen to like playing clerics (though more for the battle spells) and agreed. But I wanted to do something different… so, “can I play a kender?” After a little discussion, everyone was on board in that kind of way that says this is going to be horrifying but fun. For extra shenanigans (and min-maxing fun), someone suggested I play an exalted cleric. They showed me the book of exalted deeds, and I signed onto that very quickly upon learning the awesome power of casting spontaneous sanctified spells.
So along with an insane archmage, a beefy bear warrior, a warlock, and a druid of questionable moral character, we were off to adventure. Like any high powered D&D party, we wiped the floor with our enemies and sought out ever harder challenges. After stomping on some enemies more than a few CR above our level, as happens in the higher levels of D&D, we sought out a dragon for appropriately epic battle and succeeded in bringing it down. And then the fun began. Most of the party had been drifting toward evil for quite some time. Upon meeting demons looking to do battle with us, the party attempted to negotiate terms of an alliance, and the broker their way to leadership of an army of demons and abominations. Me, being good, would naturally have none of it. So I snuck away to inform the future victims of the impending invasion that they should make preparations.
Being a kender though (and woefully unfamiliar with the cleric spell list at the time), I couldn’t actually convince anyone to take me seriously by any ethical means I could think of. I got written off as telling kender tales. Naturally. So, being a kender and having a woefully underdeveloped survival instinct, I went back to try to pull the invasion apart from the inside. Failing that, I would return to the city to stand with whatever army could be assembled in the time they had once they learned of the invasion for themselves. It never got to that point though. The rest of the party knew I was up to no good, and a few choice divinations told the rest of the story to the wizard. At this point, the wizard told me OOC that he was planning to kill my character, which we agreed made sense given what was going on. He started with spell traps that were mostly ineffective, and certainly failed in their goal of ending the life of a blissfully ignorant kender. Eventually, he settled on assassination. I was hoping to get a good old spellslinging contest between us (I would have lost, but it would have been awesome fun to play such a battle.) Unfortunately, despite his ineptitude at sneaking around, I was asleep and therefore unable to hear his approach. Yes, I had a chance to hear, I just rolled bad. So a quick coup de grace of fire to the face and I was done.
After that, they helped me put together another character more in keeping with the new direction of the party, along with a tad more power to deal with all of the power creep, and we all had fun going through the rest of the campaign.
